Homework 9.16

2020-09-16 · 첨삭 강사 Melody

학생이 쓴 원문

What would happen if you could fly whenever you wanted? When would you use this ability? I want to do many things if i have a flying ability. First, I want to fly to other countries with my family or my friends. Flying would be very great and I can have a great experiences with my family and friends. Secondly, I want to help poor countries people with this ability. Some of them are very hard to bring water because water is so far from their home. I want to carry water for them flying the sky

강사 첨삭

1. I want to do many things if i have a flying ability.
>>CORRECT
OR>>I like to do a lot of things if I could fly.

2. First, I want to fly to other countries with my family or my friends.
>>CORRECT
OR>>One, I want to fly to different countries with my family or my friends.

3. Flying would be very great and I can have a great experiences with my family and friends.
>>Flying would be very great,  and I can have great experiences with my family and friends.

4. Secondly, I want to help poor countries people with this ability.
>>Secondly, I want to help people in developing countries with this ability.

5. Some of them are very hard to bring water because water is so far from their home.
>>Some of them have a hard to bring water because water is so far from their home.

6. I want to carry water for them flying the sky.
>>I want to carry water for them by flying in the sky.


Nice essay, Michelle!

- T. Melody ^^

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