Homework 9/24
학생이 쓴 원문
Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks? Why? Why not?
Some people can say easily it is unnecessary for people to get cosmetic surgery just for the beauty.
But other people think it makes sense.
Because no matter what country I'm living in, the important thing that judges a person is first impression, and exterior factors of him make his first impression.
And appearance was one of the most important factors comprising of my self-esteem, especially during my adolescence.
At that time, the more high my appearance met my expectation, the more my self-esteem rose.
If their appearance doesn't meet their expectation for now, then they will get a cosmetic surgery, I think.
I think it is good idea that they get a cosmetic surgery properly to raise their self-esteem.
But excessive surgery can destroy their identity and self-esteem.
Because appearance is just one of factors comprising their self-esteem, not everything.
강사 첨삭
Hey there, Ian!:)
How are you doing today?
Great job in doing your homework.
Keep up!
~T. Lorna^-^
Some people can say easily it is unnecessary for people to get cosmetic surgery just for the beauty.
>> Some people can easily say that it is unnecessary for people to have a cosmetic surgery done just for their beauty.
But other people think it makes sense.
>> Correct!
Because no matter what country I\'m living in, the important thing that judges a person is first impression, and exterior factors of him make his first impression.
>> Regardless of what country I\'m living in, I can say that the important thing is first impression and most likely, exterior factors affects someone\'s first impression on us.
And appearance was one of the most important factors comprising of my self-esteem, especially during my adolescence.
>>Moreover, appearance is one of the most important factors that comprises our self-esteem, especially during adolescence.
At that time, the more high my appearance met my expectation, the more my self-esteem rose.
>> At that time, the more we look great then the more we can have a good self-esteem.
If their appearance doesn\'t meet their expectation for now, then they will get a cosmetic surgery, I think.
>> This time, I think that if their appearance doesn\'t meet their expectations then they might have a cosmetic surgery.
I think it is good idea that they get a cosmetic surgery properly to raise their self-esteem.
>> I think it is a good idea for them to have a cosmetic surgery done properly to boosts their self-esteem.
But excessive surgery can destroy their identity and self-esteem.
>> Correct!
Because appearance is just one of factors comprising their self-esteem, not everything.
>> Because appearance is just a factor that comprisesa person\'s self-esteem
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