homework

2019-07-01 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

1. Are banks the best place to keep your money in? I think so. But nowadays the rates ars too low to invest. Thus, people invest their money into stocks. In my case, I just save my money into bank account not to touch. I hope the bank rates will rise higher than now. 2. Have you tried online banking? Yes. It\'s very useful. I don\'t need to go to the bank to send money or check my balance. But I\'m afraid of a safety of online banking. I often hear about hackers of online site. Whenever I hear of that news, I\'m scary. Even though there is unsafety, many people use online bangking. The usefulness beats the fear.

강사 첨삭

Thank you Ms. [이름]!


~Teacher Lucy


I think so.

>>CORRECT!


But nowadays the rates are too low to invest.

>>CORRECT!

>>But nowadays the rates are too low to invest in.


Thus, people invest their money into stocks. 

>>CORRECT!

>>Furthermore, people invest their money into stocks.


In my case, I just save my money into bank account not to touch.

>>In my case, I just save money in my bank account and not to touch.


I hope the bank rates will rise higher than now.

>>CORRECT!

>>I hope the bank rates will increase.


Yes. It\'s very useful.

>>CORRECT!
>>Yes, it\'s helpful.


I don\'t need to go to the bank to send money or check my balance.

>>CORRECT!

>>It\'s not necessary to go to the bank to deposit and update my money.


But I\'m afraid of a safety of online banking. 

>>But I\'m afraid of the safety of online banking. 


I often hear about hackers of online site.

>>I often hear about hackers of online.


Whenever I hear of that news, I\'m scary.

>>Whenever I hear of that news, I\'m scared.


Even though there is unsafety, many people use online bangking.

>>Even though it\'s unsafe many people still use online banking.


The useful
ness beats the fear.

>>CORRECT!

>>The advantages beat the doubts.

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