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2019-07-24 · 첨삭 강사 Mayleen

학생이 쓴 원문

What do you think of women being in the army? I have experince to participate to army camp. And that experience make me think that that woman need to go to army. It because there are a lot of learning things to live in life. I could learn how to servive in emergency situation and how to give first aid. So I think that woman would better to go to army for both national and personal reasons.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Hailey! ^^,)//

Good evening!

I am glad that your answers were based from your own experiences.

Although, women have the option to join or not to join the army, for me learning the basics of survival, first aid, and self-defense is very helpful.

See you later in class.^^


__T. Mayleen :)


I have experince to participate to army camp.

>>> I have experienced/tried joining the army camp.

And that experience make me think that that woman need to go to army.

>>> That experience made me think that women need to go to the army, too.

It because there are a lot of learning things to live in life.

>>> It\'s because there were a lot of lessons about life to learn.

I could learn how to servive in emergency situation and how to give first aid.

>>> I learned how to survive in an emergency situation and how to give first aid.

So I think that woman would better to go to army for both national and personal reasons.

>>> Thus, I think women better go to the army for both national and personal reasons.

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