homework

2019-07-31 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

Do you believe in luck? Tell about a time you felt so lucky. Yes, I believe in luck. When I was a first grade elememtary school girl ( I might be 7 years old.), I was very happy to going to a stationery shop. There were so many affected things to me such like cute stationeries,toys and Barbie dolls. That place was my dreaming playground although I could not afford to buy anything. One day, I founded a beautiful dress for a Barbie doll and I decided to take it. I watched around and checked the owner with pumping heart. and I took it to my house. I was so happy to see may Barbie doll wearing the beautiful dress that night. And a few days after, I tried to take one more dress for my doll and I went to the shop again. When I was looking around, suddenly, the owner was shouting louldy so I looked at him with desperation. He was scolding another students \" Don\'t open it, just see\" I sighed with relief and thought it was very bad thing. I was very lucky, weren\'t I ? ^^

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! ^ ^ Thank you so much for this lovely, \"back to the past\" homework of yours! ^ ^ I was really anxious to know what happened! Thankfully you weren\'t caught, you naughty girl! ^ ^ Some kind of luck you got there! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah 

Yes, I believe in luck. 
>>Correct
When I was a first grade elememtary school girl ( I might be 7 years old.), I was very happy to going to a stationery shop.
>>When I was in first grade elementary (I might be 7 years old then), I really enjoyed going to the stationery shop.
There were so many affected things to me such like cute stationeries,toys and Barbie dolls.
>>There were so many things that attracted me such as cute stationery, toys and barbie dolls.
That place was my dreaming playground although I could not afford to buy anything. 
>>That place was my dream playground although I could not afford to buy anything.  
One day, I founded a beautiful dress for a Barbie doll and I decided to take it.
>>One day, I found a beautiful dress for a Barbie doll and I decided to take it.
I watched around and checked the owner with pumping heart. and I took it to my house.
>>I looked around and checked the owner with a pounding heart, I didn\'t see him and so I brought it home.
I was so happy to see may Barbie doll wearing the beautiful dress that night.
>>Correct
And a few days after, I tried to take one more dress for my doll and I went to the shop again.
>>And a few days after, I went to the shop again and I tried to take one more dress for my doll.
When I was looking around, suddenly, the owner was shouting louldy so I looked at him with desperation.
>>Correct (misspelled \"loudly\")
He was scolding another students \" Don\'t open it, just see\"
>>He was scolding another student and saying; \" Don\'t open it, just look\"
I sighed with relief and thought it was very bad thing.
>>I sighed with relief and thought it was a very bad thing.
I was very lucky, weren\'t I ? ^^
>>I was very lucky, wasn\'t I ? ^^

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