Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I love proud my home town Busan for several reasons.
First, the most of Busan people is nosy. Sometime it is bother others, but we have just innocent intention. Therefore we are willing to help for people, who are lost in the city. Once Busan people find out a lost person, they try to explain how to get there even they can’t speak foreign languages. Someone said the Busan people are nosy, but that is just our way to express to love everyone.
The other reason is that we have beautiful sceneries. Because we have many mountains and beaches, many tourists visit our city to enjoy the city. Someone said that the charm of the city is that the balance with nature and cyberpunk. I don’t understand which point of cyberpunk in the Busan, but those images of Busan is attractive for foreign travelers.
Last, our food culture is well developed. Busan located near the sea, we can easily access the sea food with raw or cooked. Even though, we also enjoy meat dishes due to exchange inland city.
강사 첨삭
Hello Luna! Thank you for this. Busan is indeed a famous city in South Korea.
- T. Beth
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I love proud my home town Busan for several reasons.>>> I am proud of my home town, Busan, for several reasons.
First, the most of Busan people is nosy.
First, the most of Busan people is nosy.
>>> First, most people of Busan are nosy.
Sometime it is bother others, but we have just innocent intention.
>>> Sometime it bothers others, but we just have an innocent intention.
Therefore we are willing to help for people, who are lost in the city.
>>> Therefore, we are willing to help people who are lost in the city.
Once Busan people find out a lost person, they try to explain how to get there even they can’t speak foreign languages.
>>> Once Busan people see a lost person, they try to explain how to get there even if they can’t speak foreign languages.
Someone said the Busan people are nosy, but that is just our way to express to love everyone.
>>> Someone said that Busan people are nosy, but that is just our way to express love to everyone.
The other reason is that we have beautiful sceneries.
>>> correct
Because we have many mountains and beaches, many tourists visit our city to enjoy the city.
>>> correct
Someone said that the charm of the city is that the balance with nature and cyberpunk.
>>> Someone said that the charm of the city is the balance of nature and cyberpunk.
I don’t understand which point of cyberpunk in the Busan, but those images of Busan is attractive for foreign travelers.
>>> I don’t understand which point of cyberpunk is in Busan, but those images of Busan is attractive to foreign travelers.
Last, our food culture is well developed.
>>> correct
Busan located near the sea, we can easily access the sea food with raw or cooked.
>>> Busan is located near the sea, we have easy access to sea food which are raw or cooked.
Even though, we also enjoy meat dishes due to exchange inland city.
>>> Even though, we also enjoy meat dishes due to the exchange with the inland cities.
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