homework

2019-09-18 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

Preservation of old building is significant. But it depends on the building. Some historical building need to be preserved due to the value that building has own indigenous story and history. But the common building is better re-build than preserved. There are a huge amount of cost is needed to preserved the old building and the old building is so much now days. Meanwhile the old building has problems. For decades ago, there were many harmful schools in Korea, containing the asbestos. The asbestos is hazardous substance for people, especially children, and many people suffered from the lung cancer due to the bad condition of school. Furthermore the old building vulnerable to earthquake, thus many local governments have started to repairs the structures. Preserving the old building is really important in the aspect that the building is good learning sources though, there are still have architectural problems. We need to judge whether the building is really valuable than rebuilding.

강사 첨삭

Hello Luna. Thank you for this. I agree with you. There are certain structures that need to be preserved for its historical value.
- T. Beth
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Preservation of old building is significant. 
>>>>   correct
>>>> OR: The preservation of old buildings is significant.
But it depends on the building. 
>>>>   correct
Some historical building need to be preserved due to the value that building has own indigenous story and history. 
>>>> Some historical buildings need to be preserved due to the value those buildings have as their own indigenous story and history.   
But the common building is better re-build than preserved. 
>>>>   But the common building is better to be rebuilt than preserved. 
There are a huge amount of cost is needed to preserved the old building and the old building is so much now days. 
>>>>  There is a huge amount of cost needed to preserve the old buildings and there are many of them nowadays. 
Meanwhile the old building has problems. 
>>>>   Moreover, these old buildings have problems. 
For decades ago, there were many harmful schools in Korea, containing the asbestos. 
>>>>   correct
The asbestos is hazardous substance for people, especially children, and many people suffered from the lung cancer due to the bad condition of school. 
>>>>   The asbestos is a hazardous substance for people, especially for children, and many people suffered from lung cancer due to the bad condition of the school. 
Furthermore the old building vulnerable to earthquake, thus many local governments have started to repairs the structures. 
>>>>   Furthermore the old buildings are vulnerable to earthquake. Thus, the local government has started to repair the structures. 
Preserving the old building is really important in the aspect that the building is good learning sources though, there are still have architectural problems. 
>>>>   Preserving the old building is really important in the aspect that the building could be a good source of learning, though there are still architectural problems. 
We need to judge whether the building is really valuable than rebuilding.
>>>>   correct 

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