homework

2019-10-28 · 첨삭 강사 Vance

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK: Is obesity a great problem in Korea? In Korea, So many people surfed obesity because They eat lot of junk food or instant food. However, It can be decreased their skin more healthy, that way is workout or exercising. According to obesity rate of all over the word, America is more high 8 times than Korea. I think that America was been spread their food like bread or doughnut. We don\'t have obesity people who live in Korea, If they eating unbalanced food, It will be getting better their obesity rates. So, we need balanced food and have to workout as we can.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for doing your homework. ^^

In Korea, So many people surfed obesity because They eat lot of junk food or instant food.

>>In Korea, so many people are obese, because they eat a lot of junk food or instant food.

However, It can be decreased their skin more healthy, that way is workout or exercising.

>>However,they can exercise and workout so that they can be healthy.

According to obesity rate of all over the word, America is more high 8 times than Korea.

>>According to the obesity rate of the word, America is 8 times higher than Korea.

I think that America was been spread their food like bread or doughnut.

>>I think that America spread their food like bread or doughnut.

We don\'t have obesity people who live in Korea, If they eating unbalanced food, It will be getting better their obesity rates.

>>We don\'t have obese people who live in Korea, if they eat unbalanced food, the obesity rates will get better.

So, we need balanced food and have to workout as we can.

>>So, we need to eat balanced food and we have to workout.

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