Homework

2019-12-23 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

What’s your opinion of people who choose not to have children? Nowadays many people in our country choose not to have children. Whether they are married or not, they believe that having a child is a risk. There are policies to encourage having children. However, putting aside the policies\' effectiveness there are criticisms such as not acknowledging the main point of the problem. Low birthrate is not the cause but the effect of the problem our society is facing. According to a reasearch implemented last October, 93% agreed on changing \'encouraging birth\' to \'improving quality of life\'. Discriminations toward women, especially moms and young girls is what makes them hestitate to have baby. Therefore I think it is entirely up to parents\' freedom in choosing not to have a baby, and that their choice should be respected.

강사 첨삭

Thank you [이름]!


~Teacher Lucy


Nowadays many people in our country choose not to have children.

>>Nowadays, many people in our country choose not to have children.


Whether they are married or not, they believe that having a child is a risk.

>>CORRECT!


 There are policies to encourage having children.

>>CORRECT!

>>To encourage citizens having children, there are policies made.


However, putting aside the policies\' effectiveness there are criticisms such as not acknowledging the main point of the problem.

>>CORRECT!


 Low birthrate is not the cause but the effect of the problem our society is facing.

>>CORRECT!


 According to a research implemented last October, 93% agreed on changing \'encouraging birth\' to \'improving quality of life\'.

>>CORRECT!


 Discriminations toward women, especially moms and young girls is what makes them hesitate to have baby.

>>Discriminations toward women, especially moms and young girls is what makes them hesitant to have babies.


 Therefore I think it is entirely up to parents\' freedom in choosing not to have a baby, and that their choice should be respected.

>>Therefore, I think it is entirely up to parents\' freedom in choosing not to have a baby, and that their choice should be respected.

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