Homework
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Thank you [이름]!
~Teacher Lucy
Nowadays many people in our country choose not to have children.
>>Nowadays, many people in our country choose not to have children.
Whether they are married or not, they believe that having a child is a risk.
>>CORRECT!
There are policies to encourage having children.
>>CORRECT!
>>To encourage citizens having children, there are policies made.
However, putting aside the policies\' effectiveness there are criticisms such as not acknowledging the main point of the problem.
>>CORRECT!
Low birthrate is not the cause but the effect of the problem our society is facing.
>>CORRECT!
According to a research implemented last October, 93% agreed on changing \'encouraging birth\' to \'improving quality of life\'.
>>CORRECT!
Discriminations toward women, especially moms and young girls is what makes them hesitate to have baby.
>>Discriminations toward women, especially moms and young girls is what makes them hesitant to have babies.
Therefore I think it is entirely up to parents\' freedom in choosing not to have a baby, and that their choice should be respected.
>>Therefore, I think it is entirely up to parents\' freedom in choosing not to have a baby, and that their choice should be respected.
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