homework
학생이 쓴 원문
I used to be a heavy smoker. I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day untill about 10 years ago. Anyway I felt I kept losing my health one day. I already knew smoking elevates blood pressure but I didn’t care of it. I had a circulatory disorder including hypertension and hyperlipidemia. So I decided to stop smoking and started to exercising. I worked out so hard that I took personal training lessons and I combined diet. I had regular meal with brown rice and bland food. I think I am healthy now. I have no hypertention and no smoking,
강사 첨삭
Good morning Mr. [이름]-Gi!
I am really surprised that you are the first student you made his homework. Yehey^^
It\'s good to hear that you are healthy now. I guess you really had a tough time when you decided
to quit smoking and to be healthy. I am proud of you!
I used to be a heavy smoker.
>>CORRECT!
I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day untill about 10 years ago.
>>I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day until about 10 years ago. (MISPELLED UNTIL)
Anyway I felt I kept losing my health one day.
>>Anyway, I felt like I was losing my health every day.
OR: Anyway, I felt my health keep getting worse one day.
I already knew smoking elevates blood pressure but I didn’t care of it.
>>CORRECT!
I had a circulatory disorder including hypertension and hyperlipidemia.
>>I had circulatory disorder including high blood pressure and hyperlipidemia.
So I decided to stop smoking and started to exercising.
>>So I decided to quit smoking and started exercising.
I worked out so hard that I took personal training lessons and I combined diet.
>>I exercised so hard that I received personal training and went on a diet at the same time.
I had regular meal with brown rice and bland food.
>>I had regular meals with brown rice and bland food.
I think I am healthy now.
>>CORRECT!
I have no hypertention and no smoking,
>>I have no hypertension and I don\'t smoke anymore.
>>CORRECT!
I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day untill about 10 years ago.
>>I smoked almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day until about 10 years ago. (MISPELLED UNTIL)
Anyway I felt I kept losing my health one day.
>>Anyway, I felt like I was losing my health every day.
OR: Anyway, I felt my health keep getting worse one day.
I already knew smoking elevates blood pressure but I didn’t care of it.
>>CORRECT!
I had a circulatory disorder including hypertension and hyperlipidemia.
>>I had circulatory disorder including high blood pressure and hyperlipidemia.
So I decided to stop smoking and started to exercising.
>>So I decided to quit smoking and started exercising.
I worked out so hard that I took personal training lessons and I combined diet.
>>I exercised so hard that I received personal training and went on a diet at the same time.
I had regular meal with brown rice and bland food.
>>I had regular meals with brown rice and bland food.
I think I am healthy now.
>>CORRECT!
I have no hypertention and no smoking,
>>I have no hypertension and I don\'t smoke anymore.
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