homework
학생이 쓴 원문
Essay: It is often said that people from poor countries are more engaged in crimes. Do you think this is correct? State your opinion and provide reasons for your view.
I think that people from poor counties are more engaged in crimes.
There are some reasons to support my opinion.
First, people who can\'t have the basic human needs are liable to commit crimes,
I saw the some stories that very poor parents stole some food for their children.
If they had had enough food, they might have stolen the food.
Second, poor children are short of getting proper education. So they might not judge what is correct or not even though of course it is different from person to person.
Therefore, I think that people from poor counties are more engaged in crimes.
강사 첨삭
Hi Bo [이름],
That was really quick! Thanks again for pointing out the part that I did not check carefully. I will check it thoroughly next time:)
-Rachel
I think that people from poor counties are more engaged in crimes. There are some reasons to support my opinion.
>> correct
First, people who can\'t have the basic human needs are liable to commit crimes,
>> correct (awesome use of words)
>> OR: First, people who lack the essentials tend to commit crimes.
I saw some stories that very poor parents stole some food for their children.
>> correct
>> OR: I read stories of impoverished parents stealing some food for their children.
If they had had enough food, they might have stolen the food.
>> correct
Second, poor children are short of getting proper education. So they might not judge what is correct or not even though of course it is different from person to person.
>> correct
>> OR: Second, some poor children have inadequate education, so they might not be able to distinguish right from wrong although this situation differs individually.
Therefore, I think that people from poor counties are more engaged in crimes. correct
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