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2020-05-11 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

1. I think fire volunteers are very great. They sacrifice a lot without many reward. And they are temporary position mostly. If there are no them, we had to sacrifice from industrial accident. Therefore, the government should treats fire volunteers seriously. 2. If I had the chance of volunteer work, I want to go to Africa or Australia. Because there are many diseases in Africa. I think Africans are weak to diseases because most of Africans are poor and far away from social. And I want to do volunteer work in Australia. I think Australia helps many see animals which are painful by sea wastes. I would like to remove sea wastes.

강사 첨삭

Thank you An!
~Lucy

I think fire volunteers are very great.
>>CORRECT!
They sacrifice a lot without many reward.
>>They sacrifice a lot without many rewards.
And they are temporary position mostly.
>>And they are in a temporary position, mostly.
If there are no them, we had to sacrifice from industrial accident.
>>If there are no fire volunteers, we had to sacrifice from industrial accident.
Therefore, the government should treats fire volunteers seriously.
>>Therefore, the government should treat fire volunteers seriously.
If I had the chance of volunteer work, I want to go to Africa or Australia.
>>CORRECT!
Because there are many diseases in Africa.
>>CORRECT!
I think Africans are weak to diseases because most of Africans are poor and far away from social.
>>CORRECT!
And I want to do volunteer work in Australia.
>>CORRECT!
I think Australia helps many see animals which are painful by sea wastes.
>>I think Australia helps many sea animals which are deteriorated by sea wastes.
I would like to remove sea wastes.
>>CORRECT!

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