Homework : about a tax on smoking

2018-03-05 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

There are mixed opinions about smoking. Most people agree that smoking has negative effects, even though some people enjoy smoking. So governments have built different policies on smoking. In this essay, I will explain their policies and discuss my opinions about a tax on tobaccos. First of all, some countries have loose policies on smoking. For example, people can buy cigarets having a low price and smoke anywhere except indoor places. Smoker might have less stresses, but it's difficult to find positive effects on tobaccos. In my opinions, the policy on smoking should be more strict. According to researches, smoking has negative effects on people’s health, indirectly or directly. Furthermore, this effect might influence their population trends. For these reasons, many other countries take strict rules on smoking such as Singapore. As a result, I think that a high tax on tobaccos should encourage for these advantages, even though smokers feel unfair.

강사 첨삭

Hi Allen!

How was your weekend?^^

We\'re finally back on track.

I hope that you keep it up.

I really liked your composition today.

It was clear and concise.

Keep it up!^^

~~ Teacher Sharon

There are mixed opinions about smoking.

>> Correct
Most people agree that smoking has negative effects, even though some people enjoy smoking.

>> Correct
So governments have built different policies on smoking.

>> So the government has come up with different policies on smoking.
In this essay, I will explain their policies and discuss my opinions about a tax on tobaccos.

>> In this essay, I will explain their policies and discuss my opinions about taxes imposed on tobacco.
First of all, some countries have loose policies on smoking.

>> Correct
For example, people can buy cigarets having a low price and smoke anywhere except indoor places.

>> For example, people can buy cigarettes at a low price and smoke anywhere except indoors.
Smoker might have less stresses, but it\'s difficult to find positive effects on tobaccos.

>> Smokers might have less stress, but it\'s difficult to find positive effects of the use of tobacco.
In my opinions, the policy on smoking should be more strict.

>> In my opinion, the policy on smoking should be more strict.
According to researches, smoking has negative effects on people’s health, indirectly or directly.

>> According to researches, smoking has negative effects on people’s health, directly or indirectly.

Furthermore, this effect might influence their population trends.

>> Furthermore, this effect might influence the population trends.
For these reasons, many other countries take strict rules on smoking such as Singapore.

>> For these reasons, many other countries like Singapore have strict rules on smoking.
As a result, I think that a high tax on tobaccos should encourage for these advantages, even though smokers feel unfair.

>> As a result, I think that a high tax on tobaccos should discourage smoking even though smokers might feel that it\'s unfair.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기