HOMEWORK about approaches to life
학생이 쓴 원문
Approaches to life are differ from person to person. some people pursue dynamic life style, and other are prone to stick to a monotonous living. I think that the former one is shown by those who have an outgoing personality, and the latter one is discovered by people who have a quiet attitude. When I was young, I misunderstood that pursuing a change is good, and the opposite one is bad. because, I heard that unchanged tradition has to be stuck in the museum.
But nowadays, I know that getting a balance of the living types is important. To be more specific, trying to develop one’s talent for realizing a dream or making the world better place or something like that. And at the same time, Being constant one’s conviction. So, I prefer to taking various experiences for making my life joyful, and having a fidelity of my values.
강사 첨삭
Hi Ju [이름]!
You did a good job in your composition.
You were very detailed and you gave excellent points.
The thing that we need to remember is to make simple and direct sentences.
Some of your sentences are quite vague.
It\'s good to use difficult vocabulary words in sentences but we have to make sure that we are using them in the right context.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Approaches to life are differ from person to person. >> Approaches to life differ from person to person.
some people pursue dynamic life style, and other are prone to stick to a monotonous living.
>> Some people pursue a dynamic life style, and others are prone to stick to a monotonous kind of living.
I think that the former one is shown by those who have an outgoing personality, and the latter one is discovered by people who have a quiet attitude.
>> Correct
When I was young, I misunderstood that pursuing a change is good, and the opposite one is bad. because, I heard that unchanged tradition has to be stuck in the museum.
>> When I was young, I misunderstood that pursuing change is good, and the opposite one is bad because, I heard that unchanged tradition had to be stuck in a museum.
But nowadays, I know that getting a balance of the living types is important.
But nowadays, I know that getting a balance of the living types is important.
>> However, nowadays, I know that keeping balance in the ways we live is important.
To be more specific, trying to develop one’s talent for realizing a dream or making the world better place or something like that.
>> To be more specific, it\'s trying to develop one’s talent to realize a dream or make the world a better place or something like that.
And at the same time, Being constant one’s conviction.
>> At the same time, we must be strong in our convictions.
So, I prefer to taking various experiences for making my life joyful, and having a fidelity of my values.
>> That is why I prefer to have various experiences to make my life joyful, and having fidelity in my values.
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