Homework about the education system

Hi Allen!

Thank you for being consistent in your work.

I admire the way you are able to make time for your compositions.

Keep up the good work!

Take note of the suggestions below.

They will help to improve the way you express yourself^^

~~ Teacher Sharon

There is no doubt how important the education system is.

>> Correct

I think that the education affects strongly on the young people’s behavior and this behavior comes from their manner.

>> I think that education strongly affects young people’s behavior and this behavior is manifested in their manners.
Korean people mainly don\'t concern about only several subjects such as Language, Math and Science, but also the manner and ethics.

>> Korean people are not only concerned about the main subjects such as Language, Math and Science, but also good manners and ethics.

In addition, people believe that these are made from the education of schools and their one families.

>> In addition, people believe that a person\'s attitude is formed through education in schools and the lessons they learn from their families.

Korea even has a specific subject called the \"morality\".

>> In Korea, we even have a specific subject called \"Morality.\"
As a result, these efforts make their behavior positive.

>> As a result, such efforts bring about a more positive behavior.

Thus education system should teach well about the \"morality\" subject for their students to be a good member of society.

>> Thus, the education system should encourage the inclusion of the \"Morality\" subject for their students to be good members of society.