Homework . Claire

2021-06-15 · 첨삭 강사 Kate

학생이 쓴 원문

HOMEWORK: What motivates you to learn English? First, I have a goal to go to international middle school. I think going to international school is first step further to my dream. My dream is correspondent (news reporter) of BBC in UK. I want to work as a news reporter in BBC that reports the situation in Korea. I must learn English to achieve my dream of news reporter of BBC. Second, when I saw Koran who speak English perfectly (like a native speaker) it motivate me too. I feel that I want to be like that person. Imagine myself being a someone who speaks English motivates me a lot. Third, my rivals and enemies. When I see my rivals or enemies, I think I will be better. Probably because of a proud temper. In this kind of situation, my rivals and enemies influence a good parts to me. After many efforts, learning English gives me pride. Right now it can be hard, but someday I think English will help me achieving my dream.

강사 첨삭

Hello Claire!
Great job today and your writing was very nice to read. Keep up the good work.
~~Teacher Kate

First, I have a goal to go to international middle school. 
>>First, I have a goal to go to an international middle school. 
I think going to international school is first step further to my dream. 
>>I think going to an international school is the first step towards achieving my dream. 
My dream is correspondent (news reporter) of BBC in UK. 
>>My dream is to be a correspondent (news reporter) of BBC in the UK. 
I want to work as a news reporter in BBC that reports the situation in Korea. 
>>I want to work as a news reporter in BBC who reports the situation in Korea. 
I must learn English to achieve my dream of news reporter of BBC.
>>I must learn English to achieve my dream of becoming a news reporter of BBC.
Second, when I saw Korean who speak English perfectly (like a native speaker) it motivate me too. I feel that I want to be like that person.
>>Second, when I see Koreans who speak English perfectly (like a native speaker) it motivates me too. I feel that I want to be like that person.
Imagine myself being a someone who speaks English motivates me a lot.
>>Imagining myself as someone who speaks English well motivates me a lot.
Third, my rivals and enemies. 
>>CORRECT. 
When I see my rivals or enemies, I think I will be better. 
>>CORRECT. 
Probably because of a proud temper. 
>>It\'s probably because of my pride. 
In this kind of situation, my rivals and enemies influence a good parts to me.
>>In this kind of situation, my rivals and enemies influence the good parts of me. 
After many efforts, learning English gives me pride. 
>>After a lot of effort, learning English gives me pride.
Right now it can be hard, but someday I think English will help me achieving my dream.
>>Right now it can be hard, but someday I think English will help me in achieving my dream.

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