homework : essay

2020-09-21 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

A trend of private car ownership can cause many environmental problems. Last year, I took a class called ‘Global current affairs debate’, and I leaned about the protest occurred in Germany which against the growing car production. Advanced country including Germany has been concerned with this. Recently, Koreans start participating in this movement. There are three typical reasons that increasing private car ownership threaten the environment. First, cars’ exhaust gas emission causes severe air pollution. Secondly, ozone layers also can be damaged. Lastly, it causes acid rain and it spread pollutant far and wide. Therefore, we should reduce our greed to own the car. We can use public transportation instead. We can also walk a short distance. So, Lets put it in to practice!

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름]~ Happy Monday morning! It\'s a new week again. I hope you\'ll a great one! Thanks for your essay ideas. Keep creating! Keep improving! See you~!

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

A trend of private car ownership can cause many environmental problems.

>>> CORRECT

Last year, I took a class called ‘Global Current Affairs Debate’, and I leaned about the protest occurred in Germany which against the growing of car production.

>>> CORRECT

Advanced countries including Germany have been concerned with this.

>>> CORRECT

Recently, Koreans start participating in this movement.
>>> CORRECT
There are three typical reasons that increasing private car ownership threaten the environment.

>>> There are three typical reasons why increasing private car ownership threatens the environment.

First, cars’ exhaust gas emission causes severe air pollution.

>>> CORRECT

Secondly, ozone layers also can be damaged.

>>> CORRECT

Lastly, it causes acid rain and it spread pollutant far and wide.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, we should reduce our greed to own a car.

>>> CORRECT

We can use public transportation instead.

>>> CORRECT

We can also walk a short distance.

>>> CORRECT

So, lets put it into practice!

>>> CORRECT

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