homework : essay

2020-11-02 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

There is the most common worry for jobseekers and seniors in university. They agonize between the ‘job satisfaction’ and ‘job security’ when they look and prepare for a job. I think that the job satisfaction is more important than the job security. People can live a meaningful life when they are satisfied with their jobs. And, if people are satisfied with their job, they can enjoy it for a long time. Then, they can get a high position in their field. So they can easily success! However, the opposite side insists that the job security is more important than satisfaction. They say that when the economy is in recession like now, job security is very important. There are so many potential risks like unemployment and job scarcity. So, to live a stable life, job security is even more necessary! People can be safe and calm.

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름]~! ^^ Good day to you! Thanks for doing your essay. I saw that you won\'t be with me today. You may be busy. Keep going. Good luck!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There is the most common worry for jobseekers and seniors in university.
>>> There is the most common burden for jobseekers and seniors in university.
 They agonize between the ‘job satisfaction’ and ‘job security’ when they look and prepare for a job. 
>>> CORRECT
I think that the job satisfaction is more important than the job security.
>>> CORRECT
 People can live a meaningful life when they are satisfied with their jobs.
>>> CORRECT
 And, if people are satisfied with their job, they can enjoy it for a long time.
>>> CORRECT
 Then, they can get a high position in their field. 
>>> CORRECT
So they can easily success!
>>> So they can easily succeed!
However, the opposite side insists that  job security is more important than satisfaction. 
>>> CORRECT
They say that when the economy is in recession like now, job security is very important.
>>> CORRECT
 There are so many potential risks like unemployment and job scarcity. 
>>> CORRECT
So, to live a stable life, job security is even more necessary! 
>>> CORRECT
People can be safe and calm.
>>> CORRECT

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·