homework : essay

2020-11-02 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I don’t agree with that opinion. I think art can be education, too. Korean schools have few are classes. Korea focuses on theoretical subjects such as language and mathematics. It is very hard and boring. So, students are easily got tired. Korean students are just good at solving problems and memorizing the textbook. They are not creative and characteristic. Experts say that this is the biggest problem of Korean students. Therefore, I insist that the art classes should be increased in all schools. Students have to experience various kinds of art, so they can develop sensibility and aesthetic sense. Also, they can reduce stress. Art has healing effects, too. Uniquely, I took a lot of art classes when I was in school. And It was very helpful for my entire teenage life. Education is enough in Korea. So, we should be more artistic in the future.

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름]~! ^^ Good day to you! Thanks for doing your essay. I saw that you won\'t be with me today. You may be busy. Keep going. Good luck!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I don’t agree with that opinion.
>>> CORRECT
 I think art can be education, too. 
>>>  I think art can be educational too. 
Korean schools have few are classes. 
>>> A few schools in Korea conduct classes. 
Korea focuses on theoretical subjects such as language and mathematics.
>>> CORRECT
 It is very hard and boring. 
>>> CORRECT
So, students are easily got tired.
>>> So, students get easily tired.
 Korean students are just good at solving problems and memorizing the textbook. 
>>> CORRECT
They are not creative and characteristic.
>>> CORRECT
 Experts say that this is the biggest problem of Korean students.
>>> CORRECT
Therefore, I insist that art classes should be increased in all schools.
>>> CORRECT
 Students have to experience various kinds of art, so they can develop sensibility and aesthetic sense.
>>> CORRECT
 Also, they can reduce stress.
>>> CORRECT
 Art has healing effects, too.
>>> CORRECT
 Uniquely, I took a lot of art classes when I was in school. 
>>> CORRECT
And it was very helpful for my entire teenage life.
>>> CORRECT
Education is enough in Korea. 
>>> CORRECT
So, we should be more artistic in the future.
>>> CORRECT

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