homework(essay)

Hello there^^

Good evening^^ I got your point here.

Good job. You expressed your thoughts well and I commend you for that.

Just be careful with your grammar and choice of words.

Have time to check my corrections for you here.

Thanks and see you!

Teacher Mona

Essay:
Does using cell phones make people more or less connected?

 Yes, I believe that using cell phones make people connected.

>>Correct
 There are two reasons supporting my idea.

>> Correct

>> There are two reasons that support my idea.
 Firstly, almost all people have their own phone these days.

>> Correct

So, they are able to contact to acquaintance anywhere and anytime.

>> First they are able to contact their acquaintance anywhere and anytime.

Before, cell phone was invented, people couldn\'t meet their friend immediately.

>> Correct

However, the invention makes people contact and meet easily and suddemly.

>> However, the invention makes people contact and meet easily and suddenly.
 Secondly, the advent of SNS also makes people connected in a cyber space. In the cyber space, we can make gathering.

>>Correct

No matter they don\'t know some people in real life, they feel a sence of belongings.

>> In no matter, they don\'t know that some people will feel a sense of belongingness.

Sometimes, this kind of relationship tends to be more strong than real life relation due to their common interest.

>>  Sometimes, this kind of relationship tends to become stronger than in real life relation due to their common interest.
 For these reason, people are connected each other thanks to cell phone.

>>For these reasons, people get more connected with each other because of cell phone. Thanks to cell phones.