Homework from the lesson 10212021
학생이 쓴 원문
Oct 21 2021
Homework: How do you take care of your mental health?
I am not a sensitive person. However, I get stressed out from time to time because I’m the type of person who can’t stop worrying when caught up in my thoughts. Also worrying, by its own nature, is hard to be stopped by other people because it’s mostly made of undesirable predictions inside one’s mind. Therefore, when caught inside endless worrying thoughts, I often get exhausted, tossing and turning all night.
In order to stop wasting my time and energy worrying, I tried numerous ways. For a period of time, I used to avoid the situation by focusing on nearby distractions, which would usually be social media services such as Instagram. Though it may make me feel like the stressful situation is gone for a while, the effect would never last long because the problem is still there. So what I do nowadays is to have myself mentally prepared for minute details of the situation. For example, if I am worried about my
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름]! Thank you
for making grammatically sound sentences. Good job! However, some of the phrases were wordy. Writing more concisely is better.
- Debbie
Homework: How do you take care of your mental health?
I am not a sensitive person.
>> This is a good sentence.
However, I get stressed out from time to time because I’m the type of person who can’t stop worrying when caught up in my thoughts.
>> This is a good sentence.
Also worrying, by its nature, is hard to be stopped by other people because it’s mostly made of undesirable predictions inside one’s mind.
>> This is a good sentence.
Therefore, when caught inside endless worrying thoughts, I often get exhausted, tossing and turning all night.
>> This is a good sentence.
In order to stop wasting my time and energy worrying, I tried numerous ways.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> To stop wasting my time and energy worrying, I tried numerous ways.
For a period of time, I used to avoid the situation by focusing on nearby distractions, which would usually be social media services such as Instagram.
>> For some time, I used to avoid the situation by focusing on nearby distractions, which would usually be social media services such as Instagram.
Though it may make me feel like the stressful situation is gone for a while, the effect would never last long because the problem is still there.
>>Though it made me feel like the stressful situation was gone for a while, the effect never lasted long because the problem was still there.
So what I do nowadays is to have myself mentally prepared for minute details of the situation.
>> This is a good sentence.
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