Homework from the lesson 10252021
학생이 쓴 원문
Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?
When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity’s aura is often so intense that people are too taken
강사 첨삭
Hello, [이름]! Thank you for
writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.
- Debbie
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?
When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don’t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity.
Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people.
>> This is a good sentence.
We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media.
>> This is a good sentence.
That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.
Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public.
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public.
Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.
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