Homework from the lesson 10262021
학생이 쓴 원문
Oct 26 2021
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?
Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous. Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have. It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7. This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous. If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most. The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have. No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity. Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름]! Thank you for making grammatically correct sentences. However, please be careful with punctuation marks.
- Debbie
Homework: What aspects of your present life would you miss if you became a celebrity?
Though I’ve never wanted to become a celebrity, I have imagined what it would be like if I were famous.
>> This is a good sentence.
Normally, in my imagination, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.
>> Normally, I am surrounded by people who admire me or the trait that I have.
It makes me wonder what it would feel like to be judged and assessed by others 24-7.
>> This is a good sentence.
This idea is one of the reasons that make me back off from the idea of being famous.
>> This idea is one of the reasons that made me back off from the idea of being famous.
If I ever become famous, I will miss my privacy the most.
>> This is a good sentence.
The freedom to talk irrational things with my friends, to walk the street without the fear of my picture taken, and to wear whatever I want.
>> I will miss the freedom to talk about irrational things with my friends, walk the streets without the fear of my pictures being taken, and wear whatever I want.
In addition, I can’t help but think that I will loose a lot of relationships that I have.
>> In addition, I can’t help but think that I will lose a lot of relationships that I have.
No matter how sincere they seem to be, we cannot be sure if our friends and family will see us the same way if we become a celebrity.
>> No matter how sincere they seem, we cannot be sure if our friends and families will see us the same way if we become celebrities.
Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet, because,it can be necessary to figure
>> Therefore, I assume I can be skeptical about all the people I meet because it can be necessary to figure out what they want from being close to me, a famous person.
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