Homework(Nov. 18)
학생이 쓴 원문
1. Compare the time you spent with your family when you are young and now that you\'ve grown up?
When I was young, I spent lots of time with my family, such as going out to have a meal or going on a picnic at near countryside. Otherwise it\'s hard to spend with them since I\'m grown up. I\'ve been busy to work and I moved out from my family since in my early twenties. But my parents are such family-oriented people so they\'re always welcome when I\'ve visited their house.
2. What is the most memorable vacation that you had with my family?
The most memorable vacation I\'ve had with my family was to go to various beaches this summer in Jeju. Due to COVID19, we were not able to travel abroad so they traveled the city where I lived and we all stayed in a luxury hotel and went around every beach locating near the hotel. It\'s been ages since we\'ve been together. So it was special for me because of not only with exotic view but also the fact that all of my family members participated on this trip.
강사 첨삭
Great to see you here again on this composition site [이름]!
I must say you have improved really well with the system and organization of ideas in your answers. I would score the both of these answers 7.5 to 7.8 if I were the IELTS examiner.
The BLUE words or phrases within the RED corrected sentences are my suggestions. Please take time to study them.
See you on our next lesson. Keep up the good work!
-T. Donna =)
When I was young, I spent lots of time with my family, such as going out to have a meal or going on a picnic at near countryside. Otherwise it\'s hard to spend with them since I\'m grown up. I\'ve been busy to work and I moved out from my family since in my early twenties. But my parents are such family-oriented people so they\'re always welcome when I\'ve visited their house.
>> When I was young, I spent lots of time with my family, such as going out to have a meal or going on a picnic at the near countryside. Otherwise it\'s hard to spend time with them since I\'m grown up. I\'ve been busy with work and I moved out from my family since my early twenties. But my parents are such family-oriented people so I am always welcome when I\'ve visited their house.
2. What is the most memorable vacation that you had with my family?
The most memorable vacation I\'ve had with my family was to go to various beaches this summer in Jeju. Due to COVID19, we were not able to travel abroad so they traveled the city where I lived and we all stayed in a luxury hotel and went around every beach locating near the hotel. It\'s been ages since we\'ve been together. So it was special for me because of not only with exotic view but also the fact that all of my family members participated on this trip.
2. What is the most memorable vacation that you had with my family?
The most memorable vacation I\'ve had with my family was to go to various beaches this summer in Jeju. Due to COVID19, we were not able to travel abroad so they traveled the city where I lived and we all stayed in a luxury hotel and went around every beach locating near the hotel. It\'s been ages since we\'ve been together. So it was special for me because of not only with exotic view but also the fact that all of my family members participated on this trip.
>> The most memorable vacation I\'ve had with my family was when we went to various beaches this summer in Jeju. Due to COVID19, we were not able to travel abroad so they traveled the city where I live and we all stayed in a luxury hotel and went around every beach located near the hotel. It\'s been ages since we\'ve been together. So it was special for me because of not only with exotic view but also the fact that all of my family members participated on this trip.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.