Homework : Pie graphs
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi Allen!
It\'s nice to see that we are back on track.
Welcome back to this world.
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~~ Teacher Sharon
The charts illustrate how much the six areas use water for some purposes.
>> The charts illustrate how much the six areas use water for various purposes.
In general, the first area that used water for agriculture is the Central Asia, while the Europe spent their most water for industry.
>> In general, the first area that used water for agriculture is Central Asia, while Europe spent their most of the water for industries.
First of all, the agricultural use of water was the main purpose in the Central Asia, the Africa, the South East Asia and the South America, which recorded respectively 88%, 84%, 81% and 71%.
>> First of all, the agricultural use of water was the main purpose in Central Asia, Africa, South East Asia and South America, which recorded 88%, 84%, 81% and 71% respectively.
In comparison, the second most usage of water in the world was for industry.
>> In comparison, the second most common purpose for the usage of water in the world was for industry.
For example, the percentages of water used for industrial use account for 53%, 48% and 12% in the Europe, the North America and the South East Asia.
>> For example, the percentages of water allotted for industrial use account for 53%, 48% and 12% in Europe, North America and South East Asia.
Last but not least, the domestic usage of the water was the smallest segment in the whole areas, recording respectively 15%, 13%, 7% in the Europe, the North America and the South East Asia.
>> Last but not least, the domestic usage of water was the smallest segment in the whole area, recording 15%, 13%, 7% respectively in Europe, North America and South East Asia.
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