homework(Success comes from hard work-there is no luck involved. Do you agree, why?)

 Good morning [이름]!

I\'m glad that you are doing well in English. I commend you for your improvements.

I am more than happy to help you to become much more fluent! ^^

~T. Jeny

I think that success comes from both hard working and luck.

>>I think that success comes from both hard work and luck.
 When I prepared for being civil offiver I studied so hard.

>>When I was preparing in becoming a civil officer, I studied so hard.

so I gain enough scores. but the region where I applied for was very competitive.

>>I gained enough scores but the region where I applied for was very competitive.

so the score of the region was higher than any other area. 

>>So they need higher scores in that region than in other areas. 
 so I faied to be a civil offiver.

>>Thus I failed to be a civil officer.
and When I grow up. I saw many occasion which shows luck is more important than another thing.

>>When I was growing up, I had many experiences which made me released that luck is more important.

my mother saves money hard during her life. and from 4-5years ago, there has been a hot air where she live in

>>My mother saved a lot of money. She was living in a non-air conditioned house for 4 or 5 years.

 the value of her estate has been higher than before. so she can save more money.

>>The value of her estate is higher than before so she can save more money.
 I conclude that when hard working man grab a luck he will succed in.

>>I conclude that when a hard working man grab luck he will succeed.