Homework : Tell me about a decision that you have disagreed with.

Hi Allen!

I am in awe of the efforts you\'re putting in these days.

I know you really want to be ready for your exams.

Keep fighting!

You can do it!

~~ Teacher Sharon

Most Korean people especially have had a cultural atmosphere for a long time.

>> Most Korean people have followed a certain cultural trend for a long time.
In this essay, I will explain about this trend and suggest my opinions.

>> Correct
Firstly, in this paragraph, I will explain the situation.

>> Correct
This culture is based on the society centered men and I think it has many problems.

>> This culture is based on a society with men at its center and I think it has many problems.
 For example, most men don’t work for their own house such as housekeeping and even taking care of their children.

>> For example, most men don’t work in their own houses such as housekeeping and even taking care of their children. 
These are only women’s role and it makes men isolated from their family.

>> These are only a woman\'s role and it causes men to be isolated from their family.
 I think that it is the one of reasons that the number of divorces has increased last one or two decades.

>>  I think that it is the one of reasons that the number of divorces has increased over the last two decades.
However, these cultural atmospheres have partly changed for a few years.

>> However, this culture has changed a little these past few years.
Several young men give their hands for their accommodations and their families.

>>  Several young men give time for their families.
Many women’s workloads in their home have decreased and it makes them satisfied with their life.

>> The workload of women in the home has decreased and it makes them satisfied with their life.
In my opinion, men also play own role in families compared to the past.

>> In my opinion, men also play a role in their families as opposed to occurrences in the past.
Men are a member of their families, not an observer.

>> Correct