Homework : What are some reason why privacy is important for you

Hi Allen!

Let\'s try to put some more time on your composition.

We need to get your focus back.

I would appreciate it if we could go back to the previous quality of your work.

I know you can do it because I have seen it before.

Keep trying!^^

~~ Teacher Sharon

There are different opinions how much privacy should be protected, althought there is no doubt why privacy is important.

>> There are different opinions up to what extent privacy should be protected although there is no doubt why privacy is important.
In this essay, I will talk about the importance of privacy and explain why it should be protected.

>> Correct
Most people want to protect their freedoms.

>> Most people want to protect their freedom.
These ideas have maintained since establighing a democracy.

>> This concept has prevailed since democracy was established.
If people are monitored without any exception, It is terrible and they might not keep their life for a long time.

>> If people are monitored without any exception, it would lead to a terrible society and people\'s lives might even be put at risk.
In addition, It might cause increasing the number of crime or suicide.

>> In addition, crime and suicide rates might also increase.
So our privacy should be conserved.

>> So our privacy should be protected.
On the other hand, there are mixed opinions about range of privacy.

>> On the other hand, there are mixed opinions about the extent of privacy.
Especially, several eastern cultures tend to emphasize people’s sacrifice rather than protecting their privacy.

>> Several eastern cultures tend to emphasize people’s sacrifice rather than protecting their privacy.
However, that is not good way in this society.

>> However, that is not a good way in this society.
We should respect each other and exchange each other’s opinions so that we can find best ways.

>> We should respect each other and share our own opinions so that we can find the best ways.
These efforts should be maintained, because there is no sultions to keep our privacy.

>>These efforts should be maintained because these may be the only ways to protect our privacy.