(Homework)What factors influence a career choic

2025-12-23 · 첨삭 강사 Trixia

학생이 쓴 원문

It has two main reasons about this. First of all, when i admitted to the university, i chose civil engineering of core course. The subjects was unfamiliar with me. but i did on myself to study for graduation. Thanks to efforts, I was increasingly familiar with civil engineering and then i could take the public employee test. Finally, i passed exam without fail. Second, my father was public employee too. so i was influenced by my father\'s job. In Korea, public employee is most stable job such as welfare, enough free time, but not incomes. In the end of the that I always proud of my job and feel happy. Thank you

강사 첨삭

[이름],  

Thank you for sharing! Please review the corrections. Remember that clear sentence structure and correct word choice make your ideas easier to follow.  

See you tomorrow!
~ Trixia  

CONTENT: 
1. It has two main reasons about this.  
-- There are two main reasons for this.  

2. First of all, when i admitted to the university, i chose civil engineering of core course.  
-- First of all, when I was admitted to the university, I chose civil engineering as my major course.  

3. The subjects was unfamiliar with me. but i did on myself to study for graduation.  
-- The subjects were unfamiliar to me, but I studied hard by myself to graduate.  

4. Thanks to efforts, I was increasingly familiar with civil engineering and then i could take the public employee test.  
-- Thanks to my efforts, I became increasingly familiar with civil engineering and then I was able to take the public employee test.  

5. Finally, i passed exam without fail.  
-- Finally, I passed the exam successfully.  

6. Second, my father was public employee too. so i was influenced by my father\'s job.  
-- Second, my father was a public employee too, so I was influenced by his job.  

7. In Korea, public employee is most stable job such as welfare, enough free time, but not incomes.  
-- In Korea, being a public employee is one of the most stable jobs, with welfare benefits and enough free time, but not high income.  

8. In the end of the that I always proud of my job and feel happy.  
-- In the end, I am always proud of my job and feel happy.  

9. Thank you  
-- CORRECT.  

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