Homework : What kinds of possessions give status to people in your country?

Hi Allen!

You did a good job on your composition.

You statements are clear and concise.

Just take note of the corrections below.

Keep up the good work!

~~ Teacher Sharon

There are different opinions about our status.

>> There are different opinions about status in our country.
Some people indicate that It needs a lot of money to be a person who is located higher status.

>> Some people say that money is the indicator of status for people.
but others insist that It is more important to be a honorable person.

>> However, others insist that it is more important to be an honorable person.
In this essay, I will explain about these opinions.

>> Correct

First of all, this paragraph will discuss worth.

>> First, I will discuss a Korean person\'s worth.

In Korea, some people have a negative idea that the high position is only made of money.

>> In Korea, some people have this negative idea that a high position is only attained if you have money.
I think that is very dangerous and lethal view.

>> I think that it is a very dangerous and possibly lethal view.

So I hope that their mind will be changed.

>> I do hope that these people think twice before saying these things.

Second, others insist that honor generates social rank.
>>Secondly, others insist that honor dictates social ranks.

However, If the person has only the honor without the fortune, It would not be maintained for a long time.

>> If an honorable person doesn\'t have money, he couldn\'t possibly maintain his position for a long time.
So, they need to make money to keep their fame.

>> So, they need to make more money to keep their fame.
Finally, In my opinion, people should have both worth and honor for the status.

>> Finally, in my opinion, people should have both worth and honor to establish their status.
It is important to keep the balance between them.

>> Correct