Homework with Korean History

2017-03-02 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

I support this plan. There are three reasons. The first reason is I can go to movie theater to watch some movies easily. The second reason is local economy will be improve. The last reason is traffic and transportaions will be improve. The first reason is I can go to movie theater to watch some movies easily. Naturaly, residents are easy to go to movie theater. So we can watch movie easily. THe second reason is local economy will be improve. When theater is bulit, many people will vist. They will buy goods and foods. Traders will make lots of profit. The last reason is traffic and transportaions will be improve. When theater is bulit, many people will vist. Then, the traffic jam will happen and city government will make more roads and street. Korean History #5 Balhae was destroyed by 'Gulan' and Wang Gun destroyed Sinla and built Goyreo. Wang Gun was accepting person. So he accept the displaced people from Balhae. His son Gwang-jong develop Goyreo.

강사 첨삭

Dear [이름],


A peaceful Thursday night to you! ^.^


Firstly, I would like to thank you for doing your homework.

Secondly, I would like to congratulate you for making a good composition, but don\'t forget to check the suggestions below.


That\'s all for now! ^^

Happy reading! ^^,

See you! ^^.


... Teacher [이름]a ... ^.~



I support this plan.

>> CORRECT!

There are three reasons.

>> CORRECT!

>> OR: I have three reasons.

The first reason is I can go to movie theater to watch some movies easily.

>> The first reason is I can go to the movie theater to watch some movies easily.

The second reason is local economy will be improve.

>> The second reason is the local economy will be improved.

>> OR: The second reason is the local economy will improve.

The last reason is traffic and transportaions will be improve.

>> The last reason is the traffic and transportation will be improved.

>> OR: The last reason is the traffic and transportation will improve.

The first reason is I can go to movie theater to watch some movies easily.

>> The first reason is I can go to the movie theater to watch some movies easily.

Naturaly, residents are easy to go to movie theater.

>> Naturally, residents can easily go to the movie theater.

So we can watch movie easily.

>> Therefore, we can all watch movies easily.

THe second reason is local economy will be improve.

>> The second reason is the local economy will be improved.

When theater is bulit, many people will vist.

>> When the theater is built, many people will visit it.

They will buy goods and foods.

>> CORRECT!

Traders will make lots of profit.

>> CORRECT!

The last reason is traffic and transportaions will be improve.

>> The last reason is the traffic and transportation will be improved.

When theater is bulit, many people will vist.

>> When the theater is built, many people will visit it.

>> OR: When the theater is built, many people will go there.

Then, the traffic jam will happen and city government will make more roads and street.

>> Then, the traffic jam will happen, and the city government will make more roads and streets.



Korean History #5


Balhae was destroyed by \'Gulan\' and Wang Gun destroyed Sinla and built Goyreo.

>> Balhae was destroyed by Gulan, and Wang Geon destroyed Silla and Goryeo was built.

Wang Gun was accepting person.

>> Wang Geon was an accepting person.

So he accept the displaced people from Balhae.

>> Therefore, he accepted the displayed people from Balhae.

His son Gwang-jong develop Goyreo.

>> His son Gwang-Jong developed Goryeo.

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