Homework1
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
This is another great work right here.
As I have mentioned, be careful of the repetition of ideas in your essay.
In addition to using \"physical disease\", you can also use \"illness\" and \"sickness.\"
Other than this, your composition shows a lot of promise.
~~ Teacher Sharon
It is a well-known fact that smoking in all public places is harmful to everyone.
>> Correct
Some people say that all countries should make rules to reduce the effects of smoking.
>> Correct
I also agree with this idea because smoking can cause physical diseases.
>> Correct
Firstly, all countries should make rules for the public because smoking can cause physical diseases to everyone.
>> Correct
If countries allow people to smoke everywhere, people who don\'t smoke can be affected by them.
>> If countries allow people to smoke anywhere, people who don\'t smoke can be adversely affected.
For example, a survey has shown that second-hand smoking is worse than smoking, and many non-smoking people have physical diseases because of second-hand smoking.
>> For example, a survey has shown that second-hand smoke is worse than smoking, and many non-smoking people get sick because of this.
Therefore, it is clear that smoking can cause physical diseases not only to smokers but also to non-smokers.
>> Correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.