Homework2
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
We will have a discussion in class about the repetition of terms used.
I know that you have a lot more ways to express a specific idea.
Let\'s review later on so that you will be reminded.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
On the other hand, others say that schools are benefiting to children as individuals because schools try to discover children\'s unknown talents.
>> On the other hand, others say that schools are beneficial to children as individuals because schools try to discover children\'s hidden talents.
Today, children can learn many different things from shcool because there are extra classes after school like soccer and dance.
>> Today, children can learn many different things from school because there are extra classes after school like soccer and dance.
There classes can help children to discover their talents, and it is also advantageous for society because children can get a job which they can use their talants in the furute.
>> These classes can help children to discover their talents, and it is also advantageous for society because children can get a job where they can use their talents in the future.
Therefore, schools are benefiting to children as individuals because shcools try to discover children\'s talents.
>> Therefore, schools are beneficial to children as individuals because schools try to discover children\'s talents.
To sum up, some people say that schools are only turning children into good citizens and workers.
>> Correct
However, others say that schools are benefiting to children as individuals.
>> However, others say that schools are beneficial to children as individuals.
I also agree with this idea because schools provide oppotunities to discover children\'s unknown talents.
>> I also agree with this idea because schools provide oppotunities to discover children\'s hidden talents.
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