Homework2

2019-04-04 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

Secondly, doing unpaid community service in high school is helpful because it gives students an opportunity to find their interests. These days, students spend most of their time studying academic subjects in school, so they don\'t have an opportunity to find their interests. However, there are many kinds of community service like teaching and singing, and this allows students to experience new thing. Also, doing unpaid community service even helps students to release their stress because they can get away from studying. Therefore, it is evident that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs because it provides an opportunity to find their new interests. To sum up, I agree with that unpaid community survive should be required a part of high school programs because it makes students be good people and provides a chance to find their new interests.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!
I really like your ideas.
I need you to explore more so that you will have new topics to talk about.
You can give examples as well.
Again, good job!
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Secondly, doing unpaid community service in high school is helpful because it gives students an opportunity to find their interests. 
>> Correct
These days, students spend most of their time studying academic subjects in school, so they don\'t have an opportunity to find their interests. 
>> Correct
However, there are many kinds of community service like teaching and singing, and this allows students to experience new thing. 
>> However, there are many kinds of community service like teaching and singing, and this allows students to experience new things. 
Also, doing unpaid community service even helps students to release their stress because they can get away from studying. 
>> Correct
Therefore, it is evident that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs because it provides an opportunity to find their new interests. 
>>Therefore, it is evident that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs because it provides an opportunity for students to find new interests. 
To sum up, I agree with that unpaid community survive should be required a part of high school programs because it makes students be good people and provides a chance to find their new interests.
>> To sum up, I agree that unpaid community service should be required as a part of high school programs because it helps students become good people and provide a chance to find their new interests.

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