Homework7
학생이 쓴 원문
My recent travel was last winter to Jeju Island with my family. I was really excited at that moment, because I’ve been there only once. Also, I love activities, so that time I promised to climb Halla Mountain. But, my mom and sister didn’t want to hiking that much. I understand them because, the weather was snowed strong and wind blowed heavily. So my father and I rented climbing equipment to protect us from a rough mountain. This experience made me and father grow close. After hiking met mom and sister, we had dinner for black pig BBQ which is famous food in Jeju Island. It felt more tasty. We talked all night and promised next summer vacation also together. I should suggest to my dad that we go to Hawaii soon.
강사 첨삭
Hi there, Jenny!
It was a splendid trip to South Korea\'s most prominent island- Jeju!
As I read your transcript, I can imagine the majestic scenery of the Halla Mountain with its white snow cap as you ascent together. Even though your mother and sister could not join you, it was surely an incredible experience.
Now that you learned to transition your sentences from one idea to another, use more synonyms to describe exactly a person, a place, an experience by being specific in giving details. Finally, stay cautious in your word arrangements to make sure your grammar is correct.
You did awesome!
See you in class tomorrow.
-T. Donna~
PS. Here are some synonymous terms that you can use alternately in your speech and writing:
excited-> ecstatic
I love activities -> I am into outdoor activities/ I engage into outdoor adventures
talked -> discussed/ shared about/ laughed about/ recalled/
travel- adventure/ tour/ explored/ wandered
>>> My recent travel was last winter to Jeju Island with my family. I was really excited at that moment because I’ve been there only once. Also, I love activities, so that time I promised to climb the Halla Mountain.
But, my mom and sister didn’t want to hiking that much. I understand them because, the weather was snowed strong and wind blowed heavily. So my father and I rented climbing equipment to protect us from a rough mountain. This experience made me and father grow close.
>>> However, my mom and sister didn’t want to hike that much. I understand them because, the weather was snowing strongly and wind blew heavily. So my father and I rented a climbing equipment to protect us from the rough mountain. This experience made me and my father grow closer.
After hiking met mom and sister, we had dinner for black pig BBQ which is famous food in Jeju Island. It felt more tasty. We talked all night and promised next summer vacation also together. I should suggest to my dad that we go to Hawaii soon.
>>> After hiking, we met my mom and my sister, we had dinner with black pig barbeque which is a famous food in Jeju Island. It was tastier than the regular meat. We shared stories all night and promised next summer vacation also to be together. I should suggest to my dad that we go to Hawaii soon.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.