How can Korean society be more diverse?
학생이 쓴 원문
Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other’s culture. Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn’t have many foreigners in it. If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other
강사 첨삭
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Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other’s culture.
>>> correct
>>> OR: Korean society can be more diverse by including foreigners into their community and respecting each other’s cultures.
Comparing to other countries such as America, Korean Society doesn’t have many foreigners in it.
>>> correct
If Korean society gather foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood that everyone respect each other, we can make more diverse society.
>>> If Korean society gathers foreigners and their own citizen together and create a mood where everyone respects each other, we can make a more diverse society.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
Also if Korean culture adopted to global cultures and accept more things, it would make other foreigners to feel more inclusive.
>>> correct
In conclusion to make Korean society, more diverse, we should include more foreigners and respect each other.
>>> correct
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