How can we solve social problems with scientific and technological capabilities?
학생이 쓴 원문
First of all, there are lots of seniors living alone. So, they suffer from the depression and the cases of dying solitary have been increasing. By setting sensor on their house, we can solve this problem. If there are no life reaction a few days, the sign will send to the government center or near police office. Also, digital illiteracy is the problem that we have to find solution. The pace of developing scientific technologies is so fast that the old catch up the pace. It relates to the gap between generation and isolation. The more seniors in society, the more interaction is needed. First, the guide explaining how to use electronic services like kiosk will be essential and the using method should be simple.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for this Mary!
First of all, there are lots of seniors living alone.
>>> correct
So, they suffer from the depression and the cases of dying solitary have been increasing.
>>> So, they suffer from the depression and the cases of dying solitarily have been increasing.
>>> OR: So, they suffer from the depression and the cases of dying in solitary have been increasing.
By setting sensor on their house, we can solve this problem.
>>> By setting sensor in their house, we can solve this problem.
If there are no life reaction a few days, the sign will send to the government center or near police office.
>>> If there are no life reaction in a few days, this will notify the government center or near police office.
Also, digital illiteracy is the problem that we have to find solution.
>>> Also, digital illiteracy is the problem that we have to find a solution to.
The pace of developing scientific technologies is so fast that the old catch up the pace.
>>> The pace of developing scientific technologies is so fast that the old couldn\'t catch up to the pace.
It relates to the gap between generation and isolation.
>>> correct
The more seniors in society, the more interaction is needed.
>>> The more seniors there are in the society, the more interaction is needed.
First, the guide explaining how to use electronic services like kiosk will be essential and the using method should be simple.
>>> correct
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.