How do I decide how I will vote?

2020-02-12 · 첨삭 강사 Melody

학생이 쓴 원문

As everyone knows, voting is the most important way to control the political flow and prevent a corruption. In my country, Korea, we have a democratic voting system and there are many politicians as our representatives. However, I think young people don\'t concern about a politic as much as we have to do. It is the same for me because I don\'t have any interest in politic and even if I read several papers about candidates, I don\'t know what they are talking about. In addition, I don\'t think they will keep their words and promise after they win the election. But I know that I have to be involved in this political performance and it is the only way I can insist my opinion to our government. There is going to be an election in 6 months in my country and of course, I am old enough to vote. For this time, I am willing to read their promise carefully and decide who I will vote. Getting used to reading their promise is necessary for me.

강사 첨삭

1. As everyone knows, voting is the most important way to control the political flow and prevent a corruption.
>>As everyone knows, voting is the most important way to control the political flow and prevent corruption.

2. In my country, Korea, we have a democratic voting system and there are many politicians as our representatives.
>>CORRECT
OR>>In Korea, we are a democratic country and there are many political representatives.

3. However, I think young people don\'t concern about a politic as much as we have to do.
>>However, I think young people are not concern about politics as much as they have to.

4. It is the same for me because I don\'t have any interest in politic and even if I read several papers about candidates, I don\'t know what they are talking about.
>> It is the same for me because I don\'t have any interests in politics and even if I read several articles about candidates, I don\'t know what they are talking about.

5. In addition, I don\'t think they will keep their words and promise after they win the election.
>> In addition, I don\'t think they will keep their words and promises after they win the election.

6. But I know that I have to be involved in this political performance and it is the only way I can insist my opinion to our government.
>>CORRECT
OR>>But I know that I have to be involved in this political activity and it is the only way I can insist my opinion to our government.

7. There is going to be an election in 6 months in my country and of course, I am old enough to vote.
>>CORRECT
OR>>We are gong to have the next election in six months and obviously, I am old enough to vote.

8. For this time, I am willing to read their promise carefully and decide who I will vote. Getting used to reading their promise is necessary for me.
>>For this time, I am willing to read their promises carefully and decide who I will vote.
OR>>But this time around, I am willing to carefully listen to their promises and decide who I am going to vote.

9. Getting used to reading their promise is necessary for me.
>>Getting used to reading their promises is necessary for me.

Good point.

-T. Melody ^^

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