How do you manage your stress?
학생이 쓴 원문
When I need to get refreshed, I usually enjoy shopping. I love to buy cosmetics, accessories, and shoes, so I go to Hong-dae, or Gang-nam etc. Then, I go to the karaoke room where I can sing a song with coins, so I don\'t need to be restricted by time. I put the coin, I can sing one or two songs.
If I don\'t have enough time to go to famous place to shop or sing a song, I listen to music loudly. I think this is the best way to relieve my stress. As I sometimes drink beer or soju alone with music. I can organize my thoughts. There are a lot of ways to manage my stress, so most important thing is to know why I get a stress. If I have a lot of works, I should take a time to get away from the job, like shopping or singing. If I am in trouble about relationship, I need a time to stay alone.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름], How are you feeling now? You did well in writing your composition. Keep it up and stay well always.
~Teacher Aki ^^
When I need to get refreshed, I usually enjoy shopping.
>> When I need to be refreshed, I usually go shopping.
I love to buy cosmetics, accessories, and shoes, so I go to Hong-dae, or Gang-nam etc.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> I love buying cosmetics, accessories and shoes so I usually go to Hong-dae, or Gang-nam.
Then, I go to the karaoke room where I can sing a song with coins, so I don\'t need to be restricted by time. I put the coin, I can sing one or two songs.
>> Then I go to a coin - operated karaoke room where I can sing one or two songs and not be restricted with the time.
If I don\'t have enough time to go to famous place to shop or sing a song, I listen to music loudly.
CORRECT!
OR>> If I don\'t have time to visit the places that I usually go to, I just listen to music loudly.
I think this is the best way to relieve my stress.
>> CORRECT
OR>> I consider these as my stress relievers.
As I sometimes drink beer or soju alone with music. I can organize my thoughts.
>> When I sometimes drink beer or soju alone with music, there I can organize my thoughts.
There are a lot of ways to manage my stress, so most important thing is to know why I get a stress.
>> There are a lot of ways to manage my stress, the most important thing is to find out the cause.
If I have a lot of works, I should take a time to get away from the job, like shopping or singing.
>> If I have a lot of work, I should take some time to get away from my job and sing or do shopping instead.
If I am in trouble about relationship, I need a time to stay alone.
>> If I am having trouble in a relationship, I need some time to stay alone.
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