How do you protect the environment in your own little ways.

2021-07-12 · 첨삭 강사 Donna

학생이 쓴 원문

The environmental issue is really an acute problem in our society as well as all over the world. As you know, due to global warming in Canada, about 700 people passed away suddenly while 2 weeks. Because, the temperature was extreme high (49.5C) for 2 weeks. This trouble is not a story with us any more. So as to protect our environment, I try to do not use disposal products like vynils, paper cups and so on. When I go to grocery shopping, I bring my shopping bag that can put them in and always my tumbler. Apart from that, when I come back home from my hospital I do carpool with my coworkers who live in near my house. Additionally, it is mandatory as a citizen in my country, I do waste segregation according to its species.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!

The environment has so many issues mainly because of man\'s wrong doings. So if we made mess, me need to be able to solve them too. The question is: How much time is left to solve these environmental problems we have created? 

For as long as we consume so much and protect less, we will not be left with anything in the future. We have to put our acts together to heal the world and create a safe and peaceful environment for our children.

Thanks for these ideas on your essay. They are practical and useful for everyday life and  for saving the earth.

See you!

-T. Donna =)

The environmental issue is really an acute problem in our society as well as all over the world. 
>> Correct!
Or: The environmental issues are really acute problems in our society as well as all over the world. 

As you know, due to global warming in Canada, about 700 people passed away suddenly while 2 weeks. 
>> As you know, due to global warming in Canada, about 700 people passed away suddenly within 2 weeks. 

Because, the temperature was extreme high (49.5C) for 2 weeks. \\
>> Because, the temperature was extremely high (49.5C) for 2 weeks.

This trouble is not a story with us any more.
>> Correct!

So as to protect our environment, I try to do not use disposal products like vynils, paper cups and so on. 
>> So as to protect our environment, I try not to use disposal products like vinyl paper cups, and so on. 

When I go to grocery shopping, I bring my shopping bag that can put them in and always my tumbler. 
>> When I go grocery shopping, I bring my shopping bag where I can put them in and also my tumbler. 

Apart from that, when I come back home from my hospital I do carpool with my coworkers who live in near my house. 
>> Apart from that, when I come back home from the hospital I do carpool with my coworkers who live near my house. 

Additionally, it is mandatory as a citizen in my country, I do waste segregation according to its species.
>> Additionally, it is mandatory as a citizen in my country, I do waste segregation according to its kind/ classification.

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