How do you think about \'no senior zones\'?
학생이 쓴 원문
The use of \'no senior zones\' in cafes and gyms in Korea is increasing nowadays.
Many people might think it is the discrimination about older people.
However, in my honest opinion, I think there is a case that discrimination is needed.
It is when older people has negative effects on majorities.
Many people insist that over 65 person not drive by oneself.
It is the based on the cases that many older people have major traffic accidents.
If the indiviual desires have a bad impact on societies, the action should be forbidden.
Likewise, I think some cafes and gyms that couldn\'t benefit from older people are entitled older people not to accept as their customers.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름],
Thank you for sending me your essays for correction. I truly appreciate the effort you put into your writing, and it always makes me proud of you. Keep up the excellent work, and I wish you the very best of luck, as always!
Many people might think it is the discrimination about older people.
However, in my honest opinion, I think there is a case that discrimination is needed.
It is when older people has negative effects on majorities.
It is the based on the cases that many older people have major traffic accidents.
If the indiviual desires have a bad impact on societies, the action should be forbidden.
Thank you for sending me your essays for correction. I truly appreciate the effort you put into your writing, and it always makes me proud of you. Keep up the excellent work, and I wish you the very best of luck, as always!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The use of \'no senior zones\' in cafes and gyms in Korea is increasing nowadays.
OR>>> The prevalence of “no senior zones” in cafés and gyms in Korea has been increasing in recent years.
Many people might think it is the discrimination about older people.
>>> Many people may view this as a form of discrimination against older adults.
However, in my honest opinion, I think there is a case that discrimination is needed.
It is when older people has negative effects on majorities.
>>> However, in my view, there are cases in which certain restrictions on older people may be justified—specifically when their actions have negative consequences for the majority.
Many people insist that over 65 person not drive by oneself.
Many people insist that over 65 person not drive by oneself.
>>> Many people argue that individuals over the age of 65 should not drive independently.
It is the based on the cases that many older people have major traffic accidents.
>>> This view is based on numerous cases in which older drivers have been involved in serious traffic accidents.
If the indiviual desires have a bad impact on societies, the action should be forbidden.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> If an individual’s actions negatively impact society, those actions should be restricted.
Likewise, I think some cafes and gyms that couldn\'t benefit from older people are entitled older people not to accept as their customers.
Likewise, I think some cafes and gyms that couldn\'t benefit from older people are entitled older people not to accept as their customers.
>>> Similarly, I believe that cafés and gyms that do not benefit from older customers should have the right to refuse service to them.
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