How does social media create a disconnect between people and their routine or normal daily lives?

2019-07-05 · 첨삭 강사 Glenda

학생이 쓴 원문

Nowadays, all the people who live on earth are connected with SNS such as instagram,facebook and so on. So, many people concentrate on these activities to make and keep the relationships between number of people who are connected with SNS. In addition , they want to show only happiness thing on that and they also see only happy life of others. There are no pain,sorrow,lonelyness. I think it is kind of a fantasy life, not a real. Eventually, they want to join and belong the fake life. So, they have been falling into the fake relationship. I think this is why many people are getting disconnected with real life.

강사 첨삭

Nowadays, all the people who live on earth are connected with SNS such as instagram,facebook and so on.

>> Nowadays, all the people on earth are connected through SNS such as instagram,facebook and so on.
 So, many people concentrate on these activities to make and keep the relationships between number of people who are connected with SNS.

>> So, many people concentrate in activities on SNS to make and keep relationships with number of people.

In addition , they want to show only happiness thing on that and they also see only happy life of others.

>> In addition , they only want to show happy things on their SNS and they only see the happy lives of others.

There are no pain,sorrow,lonelyness. I think it is kind of a fantasy life, not a real. 

>> There are no pain, sorrow, or loneliness. I think it is kind of a fantasy life, not a real one.
 Eventually, they want to join and belong the fake life. So, they have been falling into the fake relationship.

>> Eventually, they want to join and belong to the fake life.
 I think this is why many people are getting disconnected with real life.

>> Correct

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