How important is community support in raising children?
학생이 쓴 원문
As society becomes more advanced and isolated, many believe that they can raise children independently. However, it is not true. We still need community support in raising children. According to studies, the community can provide security and an extensive support network when raising children, which is inevitable. First, safety nets are essential when raising children. This can include not only access to amenities such as parks and libraries that offer structured opportunities for learning and play, but also general security, such as proximity to local authorities and patrols. Alongside this, the community can provide financial and non-financial support when raising children. Not to mention childcare, the community provide transportation and financial benefits or loans needed when raising a child. For example, it costs 8 times the GDP per capita to raise a kid in Korea, which cannot be fully covered by the monthly income which can be supported by local communities.
강사 첨삭
Thanks for this as well, Aciel!
As society becomes more advanced and isolated, many believe that they can raise children independently.
>>> correct
However, it is not true. >>> correct
We still need community support in raising children.
>>> correct
According to studies, the community can provide security and an extensive support network when raising children, which is inevitable.
>>> correct
>>> OR: According to studies, the community can provide security and an extensive support network when raising children, which is essential.
First, safety nets are essential when raising children.
>>> correct
This can include not only access to amenities such as parks and libraries that offer structured opportunities for learning and play, but also general security, such as proximity to local authorities and patrols.
>>> correct
Alongside this, the community can provide financial and non-financial support when raising children.
>>> correct
Not to mention childcare, the community provide transportation and financial benefits or loans needed when raising a child.
>>> OR: Not to mention childcare, the community provides transportation support and financial benefits or loans needed when raising a child.
For example, it costs 8 times the GDP per capita to raise a kid in Korea, which cannot be fully covered by the monthly income which can be supported by local communities.
>>> For example, it costs eight times the GDP per capita to raise a child in Korea, which cannot be fully covered by monthly income and can be supported by local communities.
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