How is Children\'s Day observed in your country?
학생이 쓴 원문
Children\'s day in Korea falls in May which means that the weather will be good for outside activities. Koreans don\'t have much time to see their children due to overtime work or working on the weekend. So parents would like to go somewhere special and treat children to snacks or what they want to eat. Further more, Parents usually prepare special gifts for their children. The most popular place for outside activities is amusement park. There are two biggest amusement park which are Lotte World and Everland. Many parents spend time in amusement park to take rides. A trip to the zoo is also a popular activity. There are zoos in several cities and some small zoos in the building. It would be good choice to go indoor zoo, if it rains. We can see small animals very closely and we can touch some animals within facility allows to do it. Another popular activity is going to a picnic. The parks along the Han River are likely to be full of families.
People can put up small tent.
강사 첨삭
Thanks for sharing [이름]! I hope you enjoyed this special day with your kids. ^^
~~Teacher May~~
Children\'s day in Korea falls in May which means that the weather will be good for outside activities.>> Children\'s day in Korea falls in May because the weather is good for doing outdoor activities.
Koreans don\'t have much time to see their children due to overtime work or working on the weekend.
>> CORRECT
So parents would like to go somewhere special and treat children to snacks or what they want to eat.
>> So parents like to go somewhere special and treat their children for snacks or whatever they want to eat.
Further more, Parents usually prepare special gifts for their children.
>> Furthermore, parents usually prepare special gifts for their children.
>> Correct grammar, but take note of the proper capitalization and spelling.
The most popular place for outside activities is amusement park.
>> The most popular place for outdoor activities is the amusement park.
There are two biggest amusement park which are Lotte World and Everland.
>> There are two big amusement parks which are Lotte World and Everland.
Many parents spend time in amusement park to take rides.
A trip to the zoo is also a popular activity.
There are zoos in several cities and some small zoos in the building.
>> CORRECT
It would be good choice to go indoor zoo, if it rains.
>> It would be a good choice to go to the indoor zoo, if it rains.
We can see small animals very closely and we can touch some animals within facility allows to do it.
>> We can see small animals very closely and we can touch some animals within the allowed facility.
Another popular activity is going to a picnic.
>> Another popular activity is going on a picnic.
The parks along the Han River are likely to be full of families.
>> CORRECT
People can put up small tent.
People can put up small tent.
>> People can put up a small tent.
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