How many people do you know who work in the profession of their choice?

Actually, all of my closest family chose their job what they really eager to do. These days, many young people tend not to pursue their dream. They just prepare some examination which can make them long term hired worker. Fortunately, my father and grandfather had a specific field when they studied, it was a rocky start when they tried to get a job, they never gave up even if they failed many times. They always told me that there’s no job that you can get easily in your life, it is kind of long marathon so just keep going on your study and goal. For example, when I was at early age, I saw many times my father studying staying awake all night to be promoted at company. It was absolutely inspiring for my goal. Through my father’s good model, I have done my best since I was young. I know it would be really demanding to work in the profession of their choice, but we have to step up what we have to do or to seek our eventual dream.

Good evening [이름]! Happy Monday, ^^ Thanks for sharing your insights in writing. ^^ I appreciate that you are always doing your best to compose wonderful sentences. ^.^ I already made the necessary corrections below. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me in class. Thank you. [이름]   Actually, all of my closest family chose their job what they really eager to do. >> Did you mean: Actually, all of my closest family members chose their job on what they are really eager to do. ( Don\'t forget to add the word members and plural for of is, are). These days, many young people tend not to pursue their dream. >> correct They just prepare some examination which can make them long term hired worker. >> They just prepare for some examination which can help them to be long term hired worker. Fortunately, my father and grandfather had a specific field when they studied, it was a rocky start when they tried to get a job, they never gave up even if they failed many times. >> correct >> OR: Fortunately, my father and grandfather had a specific field when they studied. It was a rocky start when they tried to get a job, but they never gave up even if they failed many times. They always told me that there’s no job that you can get easily in your life, it is kind of long marathon so just keep going on your study and goal. >> They always tell me that there’s no job that you can get easily in your life, it is like a long marathon, so just keep going on to study and reach your goal. ( Present tense because you used always. ^^) >> OR: They used to tell me there’s no job that you can get easily in your life, it is like a long marathon, so just keep going on to study and reach your goal. ( past tense) For example, when I was at early age, I saw many times my father studying staying awake all night to be promoted at company. It was absolutely inspiring for my goal. >> For example, when I was at an early age, I saw many times my father studying and staying awake all night  in order to be promoted at company. It was absolutely inspiring for my goal. >> Better: It was absolutely inspiring for me to reach my goal. Through my father’s good model, I have done my best since I was young. >> Bettter: I have done my best since I was young because my father is role model. ( You have to interchange the words in order to make a meaningful sentence. ^^ ) I know it would be really demanding to work in the profession of their choice, but we have to step up what we have to do or to seek our eventual dream. >> Did you mean: I know it would be really demanding to work in the profession of their choice, but we have to step up or to seek our ultimate dream. ( ultimate is the best term to use in this sentence. ^^ )