How much do you value your time?

2023-01-14 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

I once imagined what I would do if I had more time. If my memory serves me right, I wanted to study real estate investment to be much happier with wealth. However, I don\'t like chasing a wild goose. And I always try to be down to earth. What’s more important is that I am very content with this life although I don’t have enough me-time. I am happy to see my three children and help my wife with house chores. I know how valuable my time is on hectic days so under the tactics of choice and focus I focus my time on the most important two of the following: first, I invest my time in English studying. For many reasons, studying English benefits me. Second, I focus my time on Bible study. As a Christian, I have been taught that knowledge is the most important thing in this world and the world to come. I try to make many fruits in the two above under any circumstances at all costs.

강사 첨삭

Good evening Steve. Here is your composition. ^_^
T. Irene
I once imagined what I would do if I had more time. 
>>> Correct. 
If my memory serves me right, I wanted to study real estate investment to be much happier with wealth. 
>>> If my memory serves me right,  I wanted to study real estate investment when I was young to acquire wealth and happiness. 
However, I don\'t like chasing a wild goose. 
>>> However, I don\'t like to be on a wild goose chase. 
And I always try to be down to earth. 
>>> I also want to maintain being down to earth. 
What’s more important is that I am very content with this life although I don’t have enough me-time. 
>>> Correct.
I am happy to see my three children and help my wife with house chores.
>>> Correct.
I know how valuable my time is on hectic days so under the tactics of choice and focus I focus my time on the most important two of the following: first, I invest my time in English studying.
>>> I know how valuable my time is on hectic days so under the tactics of choice and focus, I use my time on the most important of the following: One, I invest my time in English studying.
 For many reasons, studying English benefits me. 
>>> Correct.
OR
>>> Studying English benefits me a lot. 
Second, I focus my time on Bible study. 
>>> The other one is, I focus my time on Bible study. 
As a Christian, I have been taught that knowledge is the most important thing in this world and the world to come.
>>> As a Christian, I have been taught that knowledge is the most important thing in this world and the future to come.
I try to make many fruits in the two above under any circumstances at all costs.
>>> I try to maximize the use of both things mentioned above under any circumstances and at all costs.

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