How popular is online shopping in your country?

Online shopping is really enticing, Sir [이름]!

Thank you for providing an explicit opinion about the topic. Keep your passion in writing burning!

~Teacher Eunice

Koreans always complain about the speed of the internet.

>>> correct!

If the web browser stopped or being slow, Koreans would be angry.

>>> correct!

>>> OR: Koreans mostly complain if the web browser would slow down.

This habit makes Korea the one of the development country in IT field.

>>> This made Korea as one of the most developed country in the IT field.

Online shopping has been developing along with improvement of internet service.

>>> Online shopping has been developing along with the improvement of internet services.  

I could say that all women in Korea are addicted to the online shopping and TV home shopping.
>>>  I could say that all women in Korea are addicted to online shopping and TV home shopping.

Needless to say, Online shopping is really popular, because it is cheaper, more convenience and easier than off line mall.

>>> Needless to say, online shopping is really popular, because it is cheaper, more convenient and easier than going to the mall.

In addiction, delivery service only takes a day.

>>> In addition, delivery service only takes a day.

Some shopping malls promise delivering goods on the same day, once customer put the order and it is paid.
>>> Some shopping malls promised to deliver goods on the same day once customer placed the order and paid it.  

The G-market, The Auction and The 11st are the most famous online shopping in Korea.

>>> The G-market, The Auction and The 11st are the most famous online shopping companies in Korea.  

Those mall are really competitive, so they provide special offer for the shopper.

>>> Those malls are really competitive, so they provide special offers for the shoppers.