How would life be without music?

2021-12-09 · 첨삭 강사 Debbie

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that music is a kind of painting. Because it make a life colorful and diverse. Then our life would be simple not diverse without music. And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity. In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.

강사 첨삭

Hi, Ian!  Thank you for doing your homework. Your sentence construction is getting better. Great!

- Debbie

I think that music is a kind of painting.
>> I think music is a kind of painting.

Because it make a life colorful and diverse.
>> It is because it makes our lives colorful and diverse.

Then our life would be simple not diverse without music.
>> Hence, our lives would be simple without music.

And diversity is one of most important factors of creativity.
>> Diversity is one of the most important factors of creativity.

In short, our life is going to be not creative without music.
>> In short, we would not be creative without music.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·