How would the world be different if all the money in the world was shared out equally among all peop

2015-02-12 · 첨삭 강사 Kelly

학생이 쓴 원문

I believe that if all the money in the world was shared out equally among all people, we could live without any problems at first since there would not be anyone who was suffered from hunger. But, I think that this happiness will not be able to continue forever. As I mentioned before, the competition is one of the main factors to operate our society. Excessive and tough competition is definitely undesirable, of course, because it can cause many social problems such as suicide and crime. Despite of such a disadvantage, competition is needed. It can motivate people to work harder. If it were not for the competition and people shared all money equally, they would not work passionately and the world would become lethargic. Then, all people would result in being poor. For the reason above, I doubt that to share out equally among all people is helpful. Even though it sounds ideal, it is actually useless thought. It is rather a shortcut to spoil our society.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon Miss [이름]!

Thank you for this. It is indeed a great idea for all people to have an equal share of money in the society, but having so would make the people become less diligent. Thank you for your brilliant ideas. See you in class tomorrow.

~Kelly^^

I believe that if all the money in the world was shared out equally among all people, we could live without any problems at first since there would not be anyone who was suffered from hunger.

>> I believe that if all the money in the world was shared out equally among all people, we could live without any problems since there would not be anyone who would suffer from hunger.

But, I think that this happiness will not be able to continue forever.

>> But, I think that this happiness could not continue forever.

As I mentioned before, the competition is one of the main factors to operate our society.

>> As I mentioned before, competition is one of the main factors that affect our society.

Excessive and tough competition is definitely undesirable, of course, because it can cause many social problems such as suicide and crime.

>> Correct.

Despite of such a disadvantage, competition is needed. It can motivate people to work harder.

>> Correct.

If it were not for the competition and people shared all money equally, they would not work passionately and the world would become lethargic.

>> If it were not for competition and the people who shared all money equally, they would not work passionately and the world would become lethargic.

Then, all people would result in being poor.

>> Then, all people would end up in poverty.
For the reason above, I doubt that to share out equally among all people is helpful.

>> For the reason above, I doubt that to share out money equally among all people is helpful.

Even though it sounds ideal, it is actually useless thought.
>> Even though it sounds ideal, it is actually a useless thought.

It is rather a shortcut to spoil our society.

>> Correct.

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