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2012-03-19 · 첨삭 강사 Aurora

학생이 쓴 원문

Composition: The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. It is very difficult for me to choose only one. But I think the popularization of internet is one of the most memorable event. The world has been smaller and smaller with developing of communication means. At first, there was no way to deliver words or things except in person. Then some people started to use torch to send message. When the torch turns on the top of the mountain, it would be a kind of signal. After this, the telegram, the telephone was invented. they were also very effective device to communicate, the internet is starting communication so - called unlimited. On the internet anyone can be the sender and giver. Plus anyone can connect enormous information. Actually, it needs more strongly supporting details. But I don't know how to do that..^^ anyway see you Aurora^^

강사 첨삭

You did your very best in answering this homework. I know it\'s hard to give details. But nonetheless, I was impressed with the amount of details you\'ve given as well. Talk to you later then. ^^   Composition:The twentieth century saw great change. In your opinion, what is one change that should be remembered about the twentieth century? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.It is very difficult for me to choose only one. >>Correct!  But I think the popularization of internet is one of the most memorable event. >>Correct! The world has been smaller and smaller with developing of communication means. >>The world has become smaller and smaller with the development of communication means. At first, there was no way to deliver words or things except in person. >>Correct!  Then some people started to use torch to send message. >>Some people used to light up a torch to send a message. When the torch turns on the top of the mountain, it would be a kind of signal. >>When the torch lights up on top of a mountain, it would be a kind of signal.  After this, the telegram, the telephone was invented. >>After this, the telegram, then the telephone wwere invented. they were also very effective device to communicate, the internet is starting communication so - called unlimited. >>Those were also very effective devices to communicate. The internet made it\'s way into communication so. It is so called unlimited.  On the internet anyone can be the sender and giver. >>On the internet, anyone can be the sender or the receiver. Plus anyone can connect enormous information. >>Plus anyone have access to enormous information.Actually, it needs more strongly supporting details. >>Actually, it needs more strong supporting details. But I don\'t know how to do that..^^ anyway see you Aurora^^ >>Correct!

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